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Submitted: March 18, 2012
Image Size: 4.2 MB
Resolution: 4536×3072

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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

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Make:NIKON CORPORATION
Model:NIKON D3100
Shutter Speed:1/125 second
Aperture:F/5.0
Focal Length:36 mm
ISO Speed:200
Date Taken:Mar 18, 2012, 3:36:40 PM
Software:Adobe Photoshop CS5 Windows

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Sybilby ~EneKiedis

Photography / Conceptual

This is based on the movie Sybil (1976), which depicts the story of a woman with multiple personality disorder (now called dissociative identity disorder). If you’re bored this weekend and have nothing to do, watch the movie. It’s great.
This is me, in the center. I’m usually very shy, and I have a hard time trusting people around me. I don’t talk much about my life, I don't share much, I’m very discreet. I enjoy my own company, I enjoy walking alone, shopping alone, reading a book while waiting for a class to start. I’m okay with this, and quite frankly, I don’t think anyone could ever understand how complex I am.
Because I’m very shy and constantly seek approval from others, I always avoid confrontation, even when someone steps on my toes. Therefore, I just keep everything inside, and sometimes I just feel like screaming, like punching people on the face. But I never do it. I just nod politely and walk away. I usually hold grudges against people, which isn’t a good thing.
And then there’s the other me. *Sigh* The ‘me’ I aspire to. The ‘me’ who’s confident, and happy, and comfortable in its own skin. I’ve lost that part of me somewhere along the way. But I still have it inside me, waiting for the ‘dark passenger’ to leave.

love 2 2

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~InkStarRosie Dec 30, 2012 Student General Artist

I have D.i.D and it has been a journey. I remember being in photography school cause i aspire to be a photographer and feel out of place, like i want to cry, feeling like i dont deserve this. It was little subtle signs like that.

Once before i got diagnosed with Dissociation, i had a normal life like anybody else. "Normal" life was going to school..meeting boys, friends,etc. Then a series of events happen, as you get older you feel and hear things you didnt think you would hear coming from loved ones. Ending up in situations i didnt ask for. D.I.D has been a beautiful yet haunting journey for me. Kind of like this picture you portrayed did here, i thank you for bringing did to other artist and people.

~EneKiedis Dec 31, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

I'm very sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how it must feel like to have DID.
My picture was based on the movie because I love psychological thrillers, and this movie was just amazing. I got inspired by the story, by the notion of having your 'self' shattered in so many different parts, and I took advantage of that to portray the way I felt back then. I don't suffer from DID, but I do have a mild anxiety disorder.

I'm very glad you liked the picture, it means a lot coming from someone who has dealt with DID. I also loved what you said - "D.I.D has been a beautiful yet haunting journey for me".
Thank you for sharing that with me

~InkStarRosie Dec 31, 2012 Student General Artist

Well i don't remember much about my childhood, so in a sense its not so bad to have DiD, other times it frustrates me. Since i was a child i used to love to draw and paint and write stories about different people in different worlds and lands. I was fortunate to have my inner-selves capture these artistic talents and express themselves this way. I don't think you took advantage of it..but in a sense we all have a personality disorder, we all dissociate, we're all the same..reality is a crime

~EneKiedis Jan 1, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

I don't know much about DiD, but did you ever black out and wake up not knowing where you were and how you got there? That was what scared me the most after watching 'Sybil', how easily she changed characters, and how she could never tell what had happened to her.

~InkStarRosie Jan 16, 2013 Student General Artist

I tend to be co-conscious sometimes, co-conscious means that i am aware i am rosie but cant really help the alters taking over. Kind of like being a passenger in the car with someone else. I can see where we are going but cant stop it. Sometimes i wake up feeling different emotions and thoughts, sometimes i dont remember part of my day. I dont remember much of my childhood and having alters was just a survival skill i had to apply in my life to survive, they are extremely talented,smart,creative, and wonderful parts of myself that i am happy to share my life with.

Thankfully, unlike sybil i have a wonderful boyfriend. Who loves and takes care of my alters..even the destructive ones, he holds them and loves every one of them. He has a special friendship with one of my small little alters, and they love to color and hold hands. He tells me and helps me when he can about the alters and what they have been up too.

*CherishKay Dec 7, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Just watched the movie after seeing your photo, which is very impressive with the concept behind it and it's executed quite well!

the movie was really haunting and very insightful, thank you for sharing it

~EneKiedis Dec 7, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

Thank you so much

I'm glad my photo inspired you to watch the movie. I loved it, and I need to watch it again some time

*CherishKay Dec 7, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

It was truly one of the best films I ever seen, I am absolutely intrigued by her story!

~EneKiedis Dec 8, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

Couldn't agree more

And the movie was actually based on a true story. Can you imagine how it must feel to have your whole self completely shattered?

*CherishKay Dec 8, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Yes, it's quite unbelievable that someone could actually go through that, mentally and physically:

very sad

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